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Battle Red Blog - All Posts The Roller Coaster That Is Texans Fandom

  • Monday Night Football Live: Chicago vs. Washington
    by Jeremy_Brener on September 24, 2019 at 12:10 am

    Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images It’s a battle in the nation’s capital. The Bears came into the season with some of the highest expectations for any team in the NFL. After struggling mightily in a Week 1 loss to the Packers and barely (see what I did there?) squeaking out a win in Week 2, the team looks to steer back into the right direction in Week 3 on the road against Washington. Washington, meanwhile, is looking to avoid an 0-3 start, and they’ll be counting on Houston Texans legend Case Keenum to make it happen. This is your Monday Night Football open thread for Chicago-Washington. Enjoy.

  • Snap Counts: Texans vs. Chargers
    by Jeremy_Brener on September 23, 2019 at 9:00 pm

    Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports Check out yesterday’s Snap Counts! NOTES: Max Scharping made his NFL debut, starting and playing all 60 offensive snaps at left guard. The move to insert Scharping at left guard bumped fellow rookie Tytus Howard over to right tackle. Houston’s offensive line allowed just two sacks, their lowest total and best game of the season so far. Both Darren Fells and Jordan Akins had their best games of the young season, combining for three of the team’s four touchdowns. Fells outsnapped Akins 39-27, but the latter still had a stronger impact. Akins found the end zone for the first time in his career, and Fells found the end zone for the first time as a Texan.

  • Cam Newton Will Not Play Against Houston Texans
    by Matt Weston on September 23, 2019 at 7:00 pm

    Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports The Panthers’ QB is still working his way back from a foot injury. The Panthers were a sad team to watch the first two weeks of the season. They lost two close games and throughout those contests, Cam Newton was overthrowing and underthrowing and bouncing and skipping and heaving passes all across the field. It wasn’t the same Newton. After the ugly loss to the Bucs in Week Two , Newton said he was going to reevaluate everything. Yesterday, he sat out with a foot injury. Kyle Allen beat the Cardinals in Newton’s place. This week, with the Panthers heading to NRG Stadium to face the Texans, the first overall pick of the 2011 NFL Draft will sit out once again. Panthers QB Cam Newton (foot) ruled OUT for Week 4 vs. Texans. pic.twitter.com/7JucUBYoqV— NFL (@NFL) September 23, 2019 Allen completed 16 of his 24 passes for 261 yards and 4 touchdowns in Carolina’s win yesterday. Really, all he did was complete the open throws Cam had been missing. The Panthers are better with Allen than this version of Newton, which is hurt, inaccurate, and not used in the run game. The Texans host the Panthers on Sunday at 12 p.m. CDT.

  • Incompletions: Texans-Chargers
    by Matt Weston on September 23, 2019 at 5:00 pm

    Photo by Jayne Kamin-Oncea/Getty Images With so much to write and talk about after every game, and not enough time for one person to write about it all, the masthead joins together and writes about the Chargers failing to ruin Deshaun Watson’s party. Matt Weston: There isn’t a better setting for a truly stupid masterpiece than a professional football game in a soccer stadium. Last season the Chargers rose above the waves, and finally saw the truth, only to fall back under with limbs flailing again this season. In 2018 they made field goals, they went for it on 4th down at the correct times and nailed two point conversions, they stayed relatively healthy, and they won the close games they always lose. The pumpkin is a pumpkin once again. They almost blew 24-9 lead to the Colts, but they resuscitated it in overtime. Last week the Lions failed to stop them on each of their second half drives, but somehow, the Chargers managed to not score at all. They lost two touchdowns one drive because of holding penalties. That drive ended with Austin Ekeler fumbling at the goal line. They missed two field goals. Philip Rivers kicked the stool and threw a double coverage interception into the end zone. Yesterday was a continuation of last week. The Chargers lost another Chargers game, and the Texans almost lost another Texans game. Only the Chargers could outlast them. Only the Chargers couldn’t find a game winning scoring drive to erase what Watson had just accomplished. Deshaun Watson evaporated out of a cataclysmic pass rush and beat the blitz only in a way that he can found. He found Jordan Akins crossing across the center of the field and dumped it off to him. From there Akins turned it into a 53 yard touchdown aided by a cross country Kenny Stills block. At 27-17 with 9:53 left in the fourth quarter, each and every person familiar with these two teams were salivating for the stupidity, and wondering just how stupid it could possibly end. The Chargers kicked a field goal to put them within one score. Houston went run, run, sack. 4:19 left, the Chargers would have the chance to tie it. Bets were placed on how stupid this could possibly get. A strip sack ending it all? Romeo Crennel’s cover four stretched apart and waltzed all over for an easy score and a Mike Williams two point conversion? Watson getting another shot, a Ka’imi Fairbairn missed field goal, and an overtime loss? And the coffee stain in the bottom of my cup told me Ty Long would miss the extra point and give Houston the win. Whatever anyone could come up with was possible, and whatever actually happened would be so far removed from what we could come up with. Instead it ended in a less interesting, but just as dumb fashion of its own. The Chargers converted on 4th and 13 after a 15 yard Keenan Allen reception. They converted on 4th and 2 after Ekeler picked up 4 yards on an interior shotgun run. Travis Benjamin dropped a ROYGBIV into the cradle touchdown throw. 3rd and 14 was converted after Lonnie Johnson Jr. gave up a 17 yard pass to Mike Williams in one v. one coverage. But Trent Scott held Charles Omenihu on an inside move. Philip Rivers then missed his next two passes. A Watson kneel was the last clump of Earth. After last season, when the Texans feasted on the worst passing offenses in football, it was going to be riveting to see how Houston would react when teams finally threw the ball and attacked their secondary. To combat it the Texans needed to have the pass rush make big plays and provide enough pressure to make up for it, and the offense to play shootout and utilize an aggressive game plan. After all of that, they would need a little luck to pull them through on top. This season it’s happened twice. They’ve gone 1-1 in these two matchups. The first, saw Drew Brees lead a game winning field goal attempt, and this one ended with the Chargers being the Chargers. The biggest difference between the two was the pass rush. The Saints have one of the best offensive lines in football. The Chargers have a wretched tackle combination. The Texans sacked hit Brees three times and sacked him once. The Texans hit Rivers 12 times, sacked him five times, and forced a fumble. J.J. Watt won the matchups he had to win, D.J. Reader was overwhelming on the interior and has launched off as a pass rusher, and Crennel ran some diabolical combinations to get Benardrick McKinney involved as a rusher. The pass rush usually won’t be this good. Offensive tackle combination don’t get worse than this. Yet, with Watson, there isn’t a reality out there that doesn’t exist. He is that most glorious sound. When the offense is aggressive, pushing the ball downfield, taking the ball out of the running backs hands, and allowing Watson to win it, they can play with anyone. This didn’t happen last season, but it’s happening this season. Houston is finally matching the best passing offenses in the league. I don’t like to think too far ahead of the schedule in a week to week game where so much changes after the turn of another Sunday. But after this game, after this performance, after what Watson was able to accomplish, all my brain can do is extrapolate this across thirteen other games. If Houston devours the teams that have to run the ball: Jacksonville, Tennessee, Denver, Indianapolis, and wins enough of these stupid one possession games, the 2019 season will be a memorable one, and be far and away different than the apocalyptic one that was easy to envision after the summertime terrors. Kenneth L. Leaving the stadium right now. First away game. Got to say that there were 4-5,000 Texans fans. If you couldn’t hear it live, being at the game, the Texans fans were loud and present in Los Angeles. Even the ref at one point forgot we were in LA. I’ve been to Texans games where we won and we weren’t as loud. I’ll need to watch to see what happened to the Chargers defense in the second half, but they were a disaster. Dignity Health Stadium is where the LA Galaxy play, not the Chargers. Gamebreaker: via Gfycat Luke Beggs: This game was quite a good articulation of what the Texans will need to happen week in and week out in order to win games. Watson having time to throw deep. Fuller and Hopkins being able to create separation on two route concepts. The defense line getting enough stops for the offense to gain a few extra possessions to make up for the ones in which BOB decides ‘’establishing the run’’ is the most prudent choice. The Texans can’t fix what they are bad at right now. Unless they trade for Jalen Ramsey or something silly, this secondary isn’t getting better. The O-Line will have weeks where it can keep Watson clean and weeks where it’ll be a sieve. All they can hope for is that they get enough plays similar to the ones that happened today to counteract their maddening inconsistency (such as what we saw in the first half). Matt Burnham: Deshaun was great, but he wasn’t an A today. He easily could have had two picks but the Chargers DBs didn’t pull them down. Big breaks. Speaking of the DBs, they were gassed on the last drive but I thought Tashun Gipson, Johnathan Joseph, and Justin Reid showed mental toughness in the end and it was just enough. Close, but just enough. The tight ends were great. Jordan Akins and Darren Fells seemed to be on the same page with Watson and made the clutch plays. We needed more Will Fuller. We got more Fuller.. in spots. The long catch that set up Carlos Hyde’s TD, I want that injected in my veins every Sunday. Great win, they should be 3-0, but 2-1 isn’t bad. They should walk into KC at 4-1 if BOB has a soul. See Philadelphia, New England, Kansas City, Or Seattle: via Gfycat bigfatdrunk: What a bizarre, stupid, and exciting game. If there was a game that best represented the “good” Houston Texans, this was it. The offensive line play was adequate, and if this is the line we go to war with the rest of the season, it might be the second best we have to offer (Greg Mancz >>>> Nick Martin). Whitney Mercilus has been a beast all season and is your early front-runner for Defensive Player of the Year. JJ Watt came to life, especially by utilizing bull rushes to dominate. RAC’s playcalling was imaginative and effective. DJ Reader is a different player this year. BOB didn’t kitten the bed unnecessarily at any point, which is always terrifying. There was still plenty of “bad” in this game, especially the secondary that is going to be out-matched on a weekly basis, but it was fun seeing the “good” Texans play today. For me, though, today was about Deshaun Watson. He missed a couple throws, true. To me, what he showed is that he’s an immensely talented QB with an unmatched ability to escape trouble. But he has to be allowed to unleash the beast. Starting out 7/8 for 28 yards is inexcusable. When Watson does what he does best, which is be himself, he is a magical, unstoppable force of awesome. TexansRevJ: Every game the Texans have played this season has been decided on the last possession. That’s not a long-term recipe for success, and the Texans could easily be 3-0 or 0-3. That being said, it’s nice to get the team battle-tested early in the season. The Texans have showed resolve and big play ability. I can’t say enough good things about Deshaun Watson. Does he hold the ball too long at times? Sure. However, he also has the rare ability to escape sure-fire sacks and make big throws down the field. I’d take that all day, every day. I can’t help but imagine what Deshaun could do with a great (or even good) offensive playcaller. The OL did a pretty good job of keeping the pocket clean for Watson, you know relatively speaking. The TE’s had a really good game. The trade-off was that our running game looked a little lackluster today. I’d love to see all aspects of the offense firing at the same time to get a feel for what we could do on a good week. The defensive front 7 is good. J.J. Watt finally came alive and had some big plays. I didn’t know that I needed DJ Reader sack dances in my life but I love it and I want more. Whitney Mercilus is having a great season. It’s amazing that RAC wasn’t able to have J.J., Clowney, and Mercilus all rush the passer effectively when he had all three. The secondary is going to struggle all season. I’m tired of talking about it though so just assume that happens in every game. All in all, that was good team win. Obviously, I’d love to win every game by 3 touchdowns but I’ll take another win and a 2-1 record into a game against a Panthers team that is hit or miss. Nude, Covered In Cashew Butter: via Gfycat Mike Bullock: The only stat that matters is the W. That being said, it was good to see the o-line improve. It was great to see Watson air it out and exciting to see J.J. Watt doing J.J. Watt things again. On the flip side, they need to figure out how to stop those out routes. Drew Brees ate them up with them in week one and so did Philip Rivers. Cam Newton has a blueprint to follow and the arm to make it happen. As someone who was expecting 0-3 at this stage, I’m happy with 2-1. Onward and upward! Diehard Chris: There was a lot to like from Sunday. The offensive line shuffling continued, and it had its best game of the young season - against a good pass rush duo in Joey Bosa and Melvin Ingram, no less. The Chargers were content to rush three at times, so it’s not like all of Houston’s clean pockets were because the OL was dominating, and the running game was certainly the weakest of the year. One thing at a time I suppose. Deshaun Watson held the ball too long at times, or rather all his targets were covered (can’t really tell on the TV copy). The most encouraging thing aside from improved OL play and Deshaun getting back to being great - was that the Texans end-of-half defense actually came through and ended the game by getting a stop to win a game. This despite a dreadful performance by the secondary, which we should all get used to. My thought on the secondary through the offseason and now is that it’s different, but not better. That is holding up so far but I don’t see any reason it will change in 2019. The secondary coalescing, getting more experience and “building chemistry” is not going to make up for the need for better corner play and some questionable coaching decisions - which are largely due to, you know, the need for better corner play. But whatever. The Texans have played two games they were supposed to lose and one they were supposed to win, and by the tightest of margins they are 2-1. I’ll take it, but I also need to see some of the positives carry over from game to game.

  • Hair of the Dog: Texans-Chargers
    by UprootedTexan on September 23, 2019 at 2:00 pm

    “If you will not bow before your king, then YOU WILL COWER BEFORE A SORCERER!” | Photo by Meg Oliphant/Getty Images The BRB gang get together and discuss the Texans’ latest game in real time...well...they were in real time when they were said; they’re not in real time no—you know what, never mind. That was fun, wasn’t it? Thrilling, nerve-wracking, in it to the end. Okay, truth time. I didn’t get a chance to watch the game this week. I had familial obligations that happened at the exact same time as the Texans game. As a result, this week’s Hair of the Dog has a distinct lack of, well, me in it. You’re welcome. So let’s keep this short since I don’t entirely know what happened in the game and get to the good stuff. As always, in finest Hair of the Dog tradition, all swear words have been replaced by the word “kitten” to make it safe to read at work. There is a decided lack of swearing this time because of my absence. Again, you’re welcome. Enjoy! First Quarter: Weston LFG BFD Whose arm falls off first? Drew Brees or Philip Rivers? Weston Rivers has been slinging soup for years now and knows how to play like this. I would say Brees for sure. l[kitten]ingl Luke Austin Ekeler the LB heckler. (Chargers score a touchdown, lead 7-0.) BFD Jonathan Joseph covering Keenan Allen is not...favorable. Luke There is no one on this team who can cover Keenan Allen BFD *Johnathan Weston I’d slit my throat before I tried to tackle Derrick Henry, or try to cover Keenan Allen. Luke, you’ll have to write a film room on Joey Bosa v. Max Scharping. It’s going to be a [kitten]ing blood bath today. Luke It’ll be Bosa vs Howard in all likelihood. Luke Oh Matty, Josh Allen was marvellous today. Weston Hell yes. I can’t wait to watch him tonight. Luke In our defence it changes so much because the coaching staff still has literally no [kitten]ing clue how they want to arrange it. BFD Sorry, Big Matt, I just missed it this week. Weston I had no idea at all either. I was watching condensed games this morning and have zero clue what this OL combo is. BFD Why in the [kitten] does this team throw [kitten] [kitten]ing screens? Weston 3rd and 2. The Chargers have questionable options to cover Hopkins or Fuller and of course they throw the screen. BFD Into my veins or something. There is no bigger chicken[kitten] of a head coach in the NFL today than BOB. Luke Hot Take: Punters and Kickers should be erased from the NFL. BFD Double ILB blitz? I’m hip, RAC. Capt Ron I’m helping with a wine harvest today. Thanks for the updates in here so I can keep up. Luke [Kitten]in Ay I’d rather be doing that. What grapes are you harvesting Ron? Also Matty, Daniel Jones has some big ole Josh Allen energy. Weston I was fine with that punt. lol i didn’t realize no one had any idea of what was going on with the OL. O’Brien is playing a RTS today fellas. I really didn’t want to hear that Luke. I was going to embargo the NYG and only watch Saquon highlights. BFD I saw a bit of the Chiefs’ game today, and I can assure you the Tyrann Mathieu still sucks. Luke You can’t do it. Jones runs like he doesn’t know that he’s legally allowed to throw the ball. Capt Ron Some high-elevation Cabernet Sauvignon that ripened a couple of weeks earlier than usual. Winemaker asked for help!! I’m helping with the hopper (de-stemming machine) Weston ooooo TEN THINGS I LIKE: 1.) Tyrann Mathiue still sucks 2.) Daniel Jones Big Josh Allen Energy Luke Joseph 5 yards off on that screen. Second Quarter: Luke Is their a weirder jet sweep candidate in the league than Keenan Allen? I mean the dudes is crafty, but not fast enough to beat a man to the edge. TexanRevJ Reid down for an already poor secondary....not good BFD Roby will miss another tackle to celebrate. DJ Reader with a sack? Cool! Luke That Reader sack was hilarious Rivers literally turtled 2 seconds before Reader got there. Justin Jackson’s footwork is so good. There’s zero wasted movement going from cut to cut (Chargers kick field goal, lead 10-0.) BFD Somewhere, BOB is immensely jealous Luke Theoretically, Lonnie is a perfect candidate to cover Williams because all Williams does is fight over jump balls. BFD Watson 7/8 for 28 yards. That is not a recipe for success. Luke Also, this talk of Watson holding the ball too long has got me thinking. Is it possible to get the most of a Watson led offense if he isn’t allowed to hold onto the ball and throw downfield? BFD Welp, BOB pulled a nice play out of his chin. Great ball by Watson. TexanRevJ The way to get the most out of a Watson led offense is to have a better offensive coordinator Luke 38 yard flea flicker from Watson to Stills. Really good job by Stills to sell the play fake on the DB covering him. Weston Howard is holding his own against Ingram so far. Let’s play some shoot out Diehard Chris I’m here. And I’m still trying to figure out what Watson was doing on that fumble. BFD Deshaun Waton is a wizard. Luke Bullet from Watson to Fells for TD. Diehard Chris Watson again with a clean pocket TexanRevJ What a throw by Watson. Absolute bullet BFD (Wizard to Daniel Fells for a TD. Chargers lead 10-7.) Diehard Chris Numbers don’t show it yet but the OL is for real getting better BFD [LA] rushing three is not a good strategy. Luke Fells currently leading the Texans in targets with 5 TexanRevJ Chargers only rushed three but OL did good job stonewalling them on that TD Diehard Chris Sadly rushing three has worked in the past LOL Weston Maybe LAC will realize they should over load the right side with Ingram and Bosa. Luke Or just bring more than 3. BFD Ekeler’s mouthpiece looks unfortunately like a pacifier. Weston I’m really tired of watching Watt rush on the interior with the tackle matchups available. Sure, I can Luke. BFD Man, great play by Roby and Watt on the botched screen. Legit nice series by the Texans’ D. Oof, fair catch on the 5? Yikes, DeAndre. Diehard Chris Is not fielding a punt inside the ten no longer an unwritten rule? Weston I guess so. I’ve seen guys catching that punt all season long and then the announcer gets all cranky about it. Diehard Chris Yeah makes me wonder if it’s something the advanced stats have dispelled Weston Someone hit the Rivers bat signal Diehard Chris Where is Coooouteeeeeee Weston ooooooooo Bosa v. Tunsil is a [kitten] good time BFD This team on offense. So much offense. Such poor playcalling. Then, the odd bad pass from Watson. All the laundry, Dylan, all the laundry. DJ Reader having a [kitten]uva game. [Kitten]it, Omenihu out and it looks bad. [Kitten] [kitten] [kitten]. Weston It was hard to tell what happened to him? J.J. Watt Benardrick McKinney T-E Stung BFD Flashbacks (kinda) of the NE playoff game. Weston stunt** [KITTEN] [NAME REDACTED} BFD Ummm, that looks like a catch to me. It didn’t real time, but it does on the replay. Weston Watt looks much more explosive this game. He’s trying to win with power instead of all that edge ripping. BFD Yeah, he’s just running through guys this game. No subtlety. (Cmon, Rev, join in on the “fun”!) TexanRevJ I’m here, I’m here....had to catch up with hulu I think that looks like a catch but who knows anymore Weston I’m in love with every Lonnie Johnson v. Mike Williams route BFD Addae celebrating every play of this Super Bowl. TexanRevJ I think we might have something with Lonnie. Dude plays big BFD Serious pick on the Keenan Allen touchdown. (Rivers to Keenan Allen Part Duh. Chargers lead 17-7.) TexanRevJ lol Keenan Allen vs. our secondary is not fair Weston Who cares if he plays big if he can’t stay in front of anyone in man coverage I loved that LAC ‘pick’ because he runs at Reid without making contact and forces him to come over the top. BFD Deshaun Watson disapparated on that play. He’s a [kitten]ing wizard. Weston Some platform 9-3/4 [kitten] Halftime Thoughts: BFD Watson to Kenny Stills for 37 yards, and Kaimi Fairbairn misses the 56 yard field goal. Sigh. Weston --Lonnie Johnson v. Mike Williams is never going to stop --Keenan Allen is having the type of game DeAndre Hopkins needs to be having BFD This is an erratic game by the Texans. Defensive line has been balling; secondary has been bawling. Watson missed a couple passes he should hit, but he’s been dropping dimes, otherwise. That the Texans only have 7 points is incredibly disappointing. Luke I’m back, how much out of it are we? Weston --I’ve really loved how Crennel has created pressure, even if he’s having Watt rush on the inside. TexanRevJ - DLine looks good today. Watt is showing power and Reader has been creating solid pressure up the middle Weston --The pass protection has been good considering the talent in front of them TexanRevJ - Hop has been quiet. Texans need him to show up and show out in the 2nd half - The OL isn’t being destroyed like I assumed they would be. Deshaun has had some time to let plays develop which is nice Diehard Chris Has Lonnie been good in any way? He just feels very Kareem Jackson year 1-2 to me I’m not seeing how he plays big. I see a little bit of Honey Badger’s excitability without much of a result. Luke Fells and Stills have a combined 10 targets, Fuller and Hopkins have a combined 5. Diehard Chris I’d love to see more Coutee but clearly Stills is cutting into his snaps rather significantly Luke Yeah I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re starting to see Stills jumping Coutee on the depth chart. Looks like we’re back to the ‘’Waiting for Watson to do [kitten]’’ offense. Texans force a 3 and out, meanwhile D.J Swearinger is getting roasted by Greg Olsen. Third Quarter: BFD It’s that kind of “have to establish the run game” mentality that BOB doesn’t need to hear. And, on cue, Hyde goes nowhere. Luke Watson rifles one to Hopkins on 3rd and 14th for the first down BFD Watson is just killing SD when they rush three. (Carlos Hyde up the middle for a TD. Chargers lead 17-10.) Luke double crossers against single high forces the safety to commit and it allowed Fuller to get isolated. Rivers being as mobile as a mobile home is not helping if the Texans are getting interior pressure. Weston Yeah, Johnson has that Tyrann Mathiue feel where he talks [kitten] after a 7 yard run tackle, and then gets beat for 17 yard pass right afterwards. STOP RUSHING WATT ON THE INTERIOR Diehard Chris Omenihuoooihuhih back in there Luke Which doesn’t MATTER BECAUSE 10 YARD CUSHION AND GIPSON’S ASLEEP Weston KITTEN TexanRevJ lol the announcers calling out Gipson for no awareness Luke If Joseph’s bailing that deep then the Safety’s gotta get underneath the route and into the throwing lane. TexanRevJ No way that’s pass interference Weston This is a Chargers-Texans game. It’s going to have plenty of dumb[kitten] decisions and in some absurd way. BFD Watt, Omenihu, and Mercilus, the only three rushers, all beat their man and get to Rivers to force a fumble. Wow. Great effort by all three there. Luke They’ve brought in Gillapsia for extra protection and are going back to the old faithful of just have 2 players running routes. Weston 3 guys were open for a TD on that play BFD When Watson is allowed to push the ball downfield, whether limited by game plan or protection, he is a kittening wizard. (Deshaun Watson to Jordan Akins for a TD. Texans lead 21-17.) The offensive line, dare I say, is looking competent. Luke Yup, not sure why one of the DB’s in that underneath coverage didn’t get tighter to Akins Diehard Chris This sure feels like another “lose on the final possession” game I’m out of optimism this weekend, heh Weston The only team who could out Houston Houston on the final possession is LA (C) Fourth Quarter: BFD The Chargers have not learned that you never, ever run against the Texans’ D if you want to succeed. Weston Or pull your guars and run power and do what has worked for you all season if you are going to run it BFD Reid and Joseph out on back to back plays, and we have a Gaines sighting. Luke Oh [Durga] I hope these flags erase that INT. BFD I think I jinxed the oline. Luke He’s a [kitten]ing magician Weston holy [kitten] Diehard Chris [Kitten] you BOB ill do it myself Weston That’s one way to beat the blitz Diehard Chris #DeshaunWatkins BFD OMG DESHAUN WATSON IS A WIZARD TO JORDAN AKINS (Fairbairn misses extra point. Texans lead Chargers 27-17.) [Kitten]ing Fairbairn. Diehard Chris LOL Fairbairn is the worst average kicker ever Gee I wonder if that miss will come into play later when the Texans are on defense in the final two minutes I JUST REALLY STRUGGLE TO SEE IF IT WILL MATTER OR NOT Luke Keenan Allen is rolling and smoking this secondary Weston Detective Joseph Luke He needs to talk to Will Fuller about how to catch the football BFD You can’t run the ball against the Texans. (Chargers kick a field goal. Texans lead 27-20.) Diehard Chris I hate kickers I just hate them I need to get high or something LOL Luke Get the Foot people out of football. This is my political platform Weston I thought for sure he was going to miss that. So Houston 3 and out as they try and run out the clock, LAC touchdown to tie, HOU missed FG at end of regulation, LAC wins the toss and Keenan Allen scores a GW long TD in OT? Luke Nah, Mike Williams Hail Mary. Weston Thank [Durga] they are throwing it woops, outside zone TFL UT Have they shat the bed yet? Luke TBD [UT]. Weston I shat the bed and laid there in it Thinking of you wide awake for days Wide awake for days Luke Watson missed the underneath man on that sack BFD Are the Texans gonna Texan? Or are the Chargers gonna Charger? Questions I have, yo. Watt is feeding today. [Kitten]z. Diehard Chris JJ MF WATT Weston wtf you have to punt there? Luke Ball game? Weston 4th & 13 for the game? I’m completely nude and covered in cashew butter now. Diehard Chris Well now they have to go for it burning that TO Luke HOOK IT INTO MY VEINS Weston There’s that BIG Tyrann Mathieu energy from Lonnie Johnson JR JR Diehard Chris LOLOL garbage [kitten] Luke PUMP IT THROUGH MY AORTA. Diehard Chris Boy an 8 point lead would be pretty nice rn.... BFD This has at least been an exciting game, for both good and bad reasons! Weston [Durga] I love these two dumb[kitten] teams. It’s like a rube goldberg invention on how to lose a football game. Diehard Chris Good job Kareem Johnson Weston Hahahaha Travis Benjamin [kitten]ing loves to drop passes. He was Will Fuller’s worst case scenario. Luke OH [DURGA] Chris DROP It a good play by Gipson nice try announcers Luke Gipson did [kitten] all That was a straight up whiff Run Rivers Run! Weston Man LAC is letting their [kittens] hang on some of these calls Luke Balls to the wall Diehard Chris That’s what I meant - good try by announcers to say it was a good play by Gipson - that was a straight up ugly drop Weston LAC missed XP for Houston to win. I’m calling it. Luke I’ll die of laughter if Rivers scores a rushing TD after his immobility in the pocket killed him earlier. Diehard Chris What we really need right now Is a big play by BARKEVIOUS MINGO BFD I don’t know if either team could actually play OT at this point. Weston #BIGPLAYMINGO Luke They live, they die, they live again. UT THAT WHICH IS DEAD MAY NEVER DIE!!! Weston Holy [kitten] what a stupid game. I loved it so much. BFD Wow, Deshaun Watson with a [kitten]uva game. Goodness gracious is he ever special. Weston Thank [Durga] for Trent Scott who is one of the worst left tackles in the league, and [Durga] bless Rick Smith for trading up to draft Deshaun Watson. Diehard Chris WELL WTF The end of half Texans defense did the [kitten] thing for once ! (Texans win 27-20.) Since I wasn’t available for the game, I can’t really give any game balls. I’ll just go with Deshaun Watson and J.J. Watt getting game balls. Got something you want to add about the Texans/Chargers game? That’s what the comments are for. Add your voice to the conversation!

 

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