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Your own one-stop shop for Houston Texans, nearby sports, and news from across the league for Thursday.
Houston Texans News

BYU LB Sione Takitaki visits Texans, several others (Houston Chronicle)

Big Ben extension netting $68 million in new cash (NFL. com)
Draft buzz: ‘ Skins exploring trading up straight into top five (NFL. com)
NFL alerts Coughlin about remarks on exercises (NFL. com)
Raiders moving on through Lynch; RB plans to stop working (NFL. com)
Eagles’ Agholor considered to be available for trade (NFL. com)
Spielman: Wife says don’ t return home if I draft CB (NFL. com)
Cutting through the draft for 10 things to believe (NFL. com)
Ravens make Tucker highest-paid kicker within the league (NFL. com)
Brandt: Group fits for top pass-rushing prospects (NFL. com)
Houston & Collegiate Sports activities
Eric Gordon is peaking at the right time (The Dream Shake)
Astros Prospect Stock Report 2019: Volume 1 (Crawfish Boxes)

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2019 NFL Draft: What The Texans’ Need?

houston texans 2019 draft hopeful

You’ ll never guess! Just joking. You definitely guessed correctly. Welcome to TRAFIC TRAVIS Nation FanPulse, a survey associated with fans across the NFL powered simply by SurveyMonkey. Each week, we send thirty-two polls to 100+ plugged in enthusiasts from each team. Texans enthusiasts, sign up HERE to join FanPulse.

Getting into the 2019 NFL Draft, very best Texans’ biggest need?Texans Collectibles

The mind-boggling amount of ballots cast for still left tackle doesn’ t surprise me personally. But are you at all taken aback that corner only got 9% of the vote?

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Pull off your pants and jacket its time. This is that period of the year where the world is continually turning to bring better and wonderful things every weekend. It’s that tradition where I tell myself,  You know what, this probably my favorite time of year, every weekend break, until the fall ends and it will get dark early and everything sucks again. Now is the time to read The Sound as well as the Fury and put your consciousness to the head of someone else’ s within right before Easter, to learn about Geology and dinosaurs and think about exactly how old the Earth is and how a lot it has changed, read Mary Oliver poetry, listen to The Hotelier’s Goodness, Turnover’ s Good Character, Turnstile’s Time and Room, and go for runs and inhale and exhale it all in, and crack yourself open and let it all arrive seeping and running out of your ear.

 

Also, there’ s a new album. Listen to it. It guidelines. It’ s loud and quick and melodic. Kids should be the history song to the cut scene that will break out when you turn on the NHL video game.

Anyways, that’s all I got. It’ s your time and energy to talk about whatever it is you want to discuss: the upcoming NFL Draft, preferred flowers, Fiesta plans, block events, and Jadeveon Clowney’ s forthcoming contract extension.houston texans Discount Gear

 

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Houston Texans 2019

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Your own one-stop shop for Houston Texans, nearby sports, and news from across the league for Houston Texans NewsTexans Bestselling Gear
Wearing down Texans QB A. J. McCarron’s $3 million contract (Houston Chronicle)
Texans sign LT Shiny Kalil to 1-year contract (Houston Chronicle)
NFL News
Patriots GHT Rob Gronkowski announces retirement (NFL. com)
Onside kick alternative gets just one no vote (NFL. com)
Brady, NFL community congratulate Gronkowski (NFL. com)
Is Rob Gronkowski the greatest TE in NFL background? (NFL. com)
Manziel makes short AAF debut as Express best Iron (NFL. com)
Giants proprietor: Trading OBJ was ‘ reluctant’ decision (NFL. com)
McDermott upon Bills RBs: ‘ Iron’ s i9000 gonna sharpen iron’ (NFL. com)
Ex-Eagles WR Jeremy Maclin heading off after 10 years (NFL. com)
Previous Patriots WR Mitchell announces pension (NFL. com)
Houston & School Sports
James Harden deserves in order to repeat as MVP (The Desire Shake)

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Big Savings at ProFanGear with Fanatics.comCalling all Houston Texans Fans. Thanks for visiting this news blog site.Shop the newest Houston Texans fan gear at ProFanGear.com If you are looking for gear click the link to Shop ProFanGear.com for Houston Texans Gear. I’ve teamed up with Fanatics to connect my readers with the best selection of officially licensed Houston Texans fan gear out there. If you purchase through my links, I will earn a commission that will support the work I do on this site. Houston Texans fans bookmark this page and keep up with the latest Texans news and happenings. Thanks again for visiting.

 

 

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  • Monday Night Football Live: Chiefs vs. Chargers
    by Jeremy_Brener on November 19, 2019 at 1:15 am

    Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports ¡Viva México! The Chiefs and Chargers do battle in Mexico City tonight for a MNF showdown. The Chiefs will look to bounce back after losing last week in heartbreaking fashion to the Titans. Meanwhile, the Chargers look to play spoiler and keep their outside hopes of squeaking into the NFL Playoffs. Enjoy the game!

  • Snap Counts: Texans vs. Ravens
    by Jeremy_Brener on November 18, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    Evan Habeeb-USA TODAY Sports Check out yesterday’s Snap Counts! NOTES: Duke Johnson outsnapped Carlos Hyde 36-21. Johnson’s appearance in this game marked his tenth game this season, meaning the pick sent to Cleveland to acquire him this past summer became a third-rounder. Carlos Watkins outsnapped Charles Omenihu 28-21. Watkins has had more healthy scratches than Omenihu this season but got more snaps against the Ravens.

  • Texans-Ravens Review: “Quick Thoughts”
    by Matt Weston on November 18, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images A deeper look at the Texans’ loss to the Baltimore Ravens. —The Texans had settled into an offensive style since they controlled the ball and played keep away against horror movie murder victim Patrick Mahomes. They established the run, won the time of possession battle, threw a ton of slants and posts to DeAndre Hopkins to convert first downs, and then ran the same Darren Fells jet sweep motion option plays. After having two weeks to prepare against an intelligent well coached Ravens’ defense that has competent to great linebackers in Matthew Judon, Josh Bynes, Patrick Onwuasor, and Tyus Bowser, the Texans attempted to run the same offense. It was splotched with blue. It was predictable. It didn’t work. Watching the game LIVE I felt the Texans didn’t take enough shots down field to play aggressively and try and dictate the Ravens’ league leading offense some. They took shots, or at least attempted to, it just looks like there just wasn’t anything open. It’s first and ten. The shell of the offense is similar to previously seen play action deep attempts. Each tight end is in a wing position showcasing a max protect look. Duke Johnson is in the backfield reading for a potential blitz, and if nothing shows, he seeps into the flat. DeAndre Hopkins and Kenny Stills are tight wide receivers, playing closer to one another to cross deep down the middle of the field. via Gfycat via Gfycat Now we don’t have the All-22 yet, but look at Hopkins and Stills’s routes. Stills is breaking inside. Hopkins delays his release before breaking inside. It’s the same deep crossing passing pattern. Deshaun Watson bounces and bounces and bounces and doesn’t find anything open. Fells and Johnson run out routes, but who knows if they’re open. This is a manufactured deep shot where the deep passing routes are the same they’ve been running since the Atlanta game. Watson runs around. Laremy Tunsil gives up on his block, and he’s done this throughout the season at times. Every time you think he understands he needs to block forever to help Watson extend the play he does something like this. Matthew Judon is Lawrence Taylor now and strip sacks Watson. When Watson is breaking out of tackles and throws touchdowns everyone craps themselves and loves it, as you should. Miscues are going to happen when you play like this. Occasional bad sacks are going to be taken. The 10% of the bad is worth the 90% of the unbelievable. The unbelievable is the reason why Houston was 6-3 to begin with. On deep passing attempts Watson was 0/3. He didn’t even attempt a pass over 20 yards last week. The non-call defensive pass interference was one of those attempts. They stack Hopkins and Keke Coutee on the right and have Stills isolated to the left. Baltimore has four really good cornerbacks in Brandon Carr, Jimmy Smith, Marcus Peters, and Marlon Humphrey. They’re playing straight man here. It doesn’t look like anything shorter is open. Everyone is running deeper sideline routes. Watson heaves it to the best receiver in the league who’s wearing a man for a coat. via Gfycat This was a great throw from Watson. To the corner and away from Humphrey. Hopkins would have had a play on the ball if he wasn’t grabbed. Bill O’Brien challenged it because he hasn’t watched another football team this year. You have to take a can opener to the receiver’s skull and eat his brains to have a pass interference challenge overturned. This one wasn’t overturned. Of course it wasn’t. The Texans could have used this timeout at the end of the half. A correct pass interference penalty sets off a butterfly effect and alters the entire course of human evolution. Who knows exactly how this game would have played out if they make the correct call? But the Texans had drives when the score was 0-0, 0-7, 0-14, and lost 41-7. It’s ridiculous to blame the refs on this loss. Houston tried to have their offense stem from the same option action that is a Fells jet sweep motion out to the flat. The Ravens had none of it. The Texans ran a counter keep on 1st and 10. Baltimore has eight in the box. Judon crashes. Watson keeps. The Texans can’t block everyone on a play where they’re purposefully skewing the numbers game. The Ravens are expecting the run on first and ten. Watson can’t break away from Carr. via Gfycat 2nd and 9. It’s the same action. Whenever Fells is in a flex wing position the defense expects this. The lines in the face didn’t grow longer these last two weeks. It’s the same plays as before. The Ravens have one deep safety and are loading up the box. With the receivers so tight, and the corners they have, Baltimore doesn’t have to worry about the deep pass. Baltimore blitzes. Judon is free and ignores Fells and pursues Watson. Chuck Clark comes over the formation to pick up Fells. There’s no read here. Watson is stuck having to deal with an unblocked defender. He does it once, but can’t do it again. via Gfycat Their first play of the second half had the same problems. Judon runs under Fells. Watson should keep this, but his ankle is twisted, he’s hobbled, and even if he kept it, there are two linebackers flowing towards him. This isn’t 2 v. 1 where the 1 is Anthony Morrow, or Austin Calitro. via Gfycat Down 21-0 the same thing happens. Ignore Fells. Pursue Watson. Cover Fells with a different defender. The Ravens completely removed the 2 v. 1 read on these plays. They were ready for it. via Gfycat They tried to run play action off it and take some shots downfield, but when it doesn’t mean anything on its own, it won’t mean anything as a fake. They pull Fells to pass protect. The Texans have three routes off play action on 2nd and 6. Baltimore is playing cover one with Bynes (#57) dropping back to spy. Clark picks up Johnson in the flat. Nothing is open. With Fells pass protecting Onwuasor can blitz. He sacks Watson. via Gfycat Houston tried to beat the Ravens with isolation routes and it didn’t work. The Ravens’ pass defense has been spectacular since the Peters trade even without a front four pass rush. Their average pass defense DVOA is -34.23% and they’ve allowed only 5.9 yards an attempt. Watson averaged 5.8 yards an attempt this game. Until we get the sideline views, which I guarantee is going to be a lot of isolation routes v. man coverage with Earl Thomas sitting as a deep safety with no one open, there’s some story creating here to fill in the gaps. Yet, throughout the game we saw Watson bouncing with nothing open. Additionally, the Texans faced too many third downs this game. The Ravens are great on third down because they can blitz without worrying about getting scorched in man coverage. The Texans went 2/10 on third down. Watson was 2/5 for 24 yards and took 2 sacks. These weren’t long third downs either. The average third down they faced was 6.3 yards. Waston failed to convert on 3rd and 1, 2, 2, and 3. Houston didn’t trust their run game to convert these short attempts. The formations they used led to heavy boxes. They couldn’t move the first level against Baltimore. Chris Wormley extended Tytus Howard and turned 2nd and 3 into a 3rd down. via Gfycat The entire interior had struggles dealing with Brandon Williams and his 25 pound frozen turkey arms. The Texans had run the ball well when the passing game set it up, but it hasn’t been the type of run game that can have six down blockers and win big v. big. Bill O’Brien didn’t trust his run game in short yardage situations, just as he should have, and when he did, Carlos Hyde was tackled for a one yard loss. Same jet sweep motion this time with Jordan Akins. Six man offensive line. The sixth man Roderick Johnson doesn’t block the inside gap, allowing Matthew Judon to run free and make the tackle in the backfield. via Gfycat Throwing the ball on third down played right into the Ravens’ blitzes. The Texans have pass blocked well against individual pass rushes. That hasn’t been the problem when they have their living their best life offensive line out there. The problem with all the waterbed shifting and repairing is they’ve never really found a groove at picking up blitzes. Baltimore brought it on nearly every third down and overwhelmed Watson. 3rd & 10. Three rushers in Watson’s face. The left side of the line of scrimmage blocks no one. Howard doesn’t use his hands at all whatsoever. Watson has no out to the right. Isolation routes v. man coverage. We never know what could have happened. via Gfycat 3rd and 3. Another blitz. The throw is timed well by Clark. He tips it. Stills can’t create much separation against Peters. This isn’t the matchup you want to attack. The ball bounces short. An illegal formation penalty after a timeout would have negated a conversion anyways. via Gfycat 3rd and 2. Houston has four routes that take off upfield. Tunsil and Max Scharping have no idea what to do. Houston blocks one with three. Watson bails from his drop before he completes it, and heaves a nice pass to the sideline that’s shoved out of bounds. We got a field goal to miss. via Gfycat 3rd and 15. This is a great blitz. With 70% completion rates being the norm, the goal of the defense is now to funnel the ball where they want it to be. Baltimore does exactly this. They overload the right side of Houston’s line of scrimmage. When Watson scrambles to the left, he runs right into Bowser’s short hook zone. via Gfycat This is how you want 3rd and 7 to look. The Ravens show ‘A’ gap pressure, back off, then bring it anyways. Houston pick sit up. Things are uncomfortable, but this isn’t a disruptive rush. Kind of scratchy. Too much wool. Watson steps up and finds Keke Coutee running to the sideline. via Gfycat This was a rare time where the Ravens only brought three. Watson has time. Coutee runs a great route here. Wonderful. Coutee loses Humphrey. These are the type of routes you have to win to get open against a defense suffocates the sidelines with great cornerback play, and makes the deep middle treacherous because of Thomas. Coutee drops it. Oh well. Offsetting penalties. via Gfycat The pressure didn’t come just on third down either. It came on first down too. Watson completed 7 of his 10 first down attempts for 58 yards. This is worse than typical from him. But the biggest problem was he was sacked 3 times and lost 27 yards on these throws. On this 1st and 10 attempt everything is short. The Ravens are playing cover two and sitting on it. Watson can’t find anything open because nothing is. Williams uses a long bullrush to beat Scharping and bring Watson down. via Gfycat On this first down Tytus Howard (#71) just gets beat. He incorrectly helps the inside gap when he shouldn’t. Mind your own business. This allows Jaylon Ferguson to get his entire outside half and come back to the quarterback to pick up the sack. He tries to turn against the grain of the sack and twists his ankle. Against these murderous blitzes, and unable to run the ball, the game is over after this play. via Gfycat The entire offense was a mess. Deep pass attempts they’ve used before. Isolation routes that couldn’t beat man coverage. A run game that cant’ win on its own. Third down passing attempts that struggled picking up the blitz. The same read motion that didn’t work against an intelligent defense. Houston had two weeks to prepare for this game. They tried the same things they’ve been using all season and the Ravens were ready for it. Seven points wasn’t the result of failed fourth down conversions and an unfortunate redzone offense. This wasn’t a fluke. The Texans were shut down. Thursday is far away. I still have no idea what happened in that Colts game against the Jaguars, but I have a big concern about the immediate future. Houston’s offense was figured out this week, they have a four day turnaround, and they’re going up against a great linebacker group, and Matt Eberflus, who has a history of limiting the Texans’ offense. Can’t wait! —The only thing the Texans did well on offense was convert first downs with DeAndre Hopkins. Hopkins turned seven catches into five first downs. This season Hopkins is tied with Mike Evans for second in receiving first downs with 47. Michael Thomas is leading the league with 58. Since Kansas City, Houston is using Hopkins like how the Saints use Thomas. He’s in the slot, or he’s outside, and he’s running either a slant or a post. It works well. He picks up 13 on 3rd and 8. via Gfycat Teams catch on though. The Ravens did quickly. Remember the Williams sack? Let’s play it again anyways. The Ravens drop into a zone coverage to take away the slant. This is Watson’s first read. Nothing else is open. via Gfycat These routes shouldn’t be the entirety of his game though. Hopkins is a premier sideline receiver who can win these matchups against Peters, Smith, Carr or Humphrey. O’Brien hasn’t maximized Hopkins’s skillset. He’s turned him into a mix of Jamison Crowder and Michael Thomas, which just means he’s a force fed less effective version of Thomas. Last season Hopkins averaged 13.7 yards a catch. This season he’s at 9.9, and Watson is averaging 7.16 yards an attempt when throwing at him, which is about the average pass attempt from a good quarterback to any receiver. His DVOA has drpped from 22.6% (10th) to 6.1% (26th). All of this ball controlling keep away has watered down Hopkins’s effectiveness. The first downs are great when Houston has a lead and can play keep away, but they’re killer when they fall behind. —Let’s play box score analysis. The Texans had four sacks in their first game without J.J. Watt. They don’t need him. He isn’t that important. They’ll be fine. Ignore the fact those were looooong developing sacks, that Houston struggled to create meaningful pressure with their down four rushers, that Whitney Mercilus’s rushes are meaningless without the pocket collapsed, and that the secondary is crappy without a pass rush. The Texans had one sack this week. I wonder what Brennan Scarlett’s ProFartballFocus grade is? via Gfycat They had two quarterback hits in addition to this. Lamar Jackson is a premier quick passer. He misses his deep attempts some, and is hit or miss +20 yards, but his pocket placement is obscene to the shorter parts of the field. The Ravens monstrous and murderous offensive line devoured the Texans’ pass rush and allowed Jackson to throw cleanly. This epitomizes Houston’s pass rush. Mercilus tries to go wide against Ronnie Stanley and is met at the point of attack anyways. Stanley easily deals with the spin. Carlos Watkins is the closest interior rusher and he’s four vertical yards away from Jackson off a play action fake. Easy throw. Easy completion. via Gfycat The blitzes didn’t matter either. The Texans brought five. This isn’t a pass rush. Jackson steps up in the pocket and runs past Angelo Blackson and Brandon Dunn on his getaway. Both of these defenders are blocked. Jackson has a clean path because Benardrick McKinney floats to the left to cover Mark Ingram after he completes his block. Poor Zach Cunningham. via Gfycat Jackson dropped some absolutely wonderful passes. On this touchdown to Mark Andrews, Justin Reid is matched up against him in the slot. Tashaun Gipson is the deep safety. The Ravens turn a personnel package that draws the Nickle defense into a five receiver set. Past Reid’s outsretched arm. via Gfycat Another completion to Andrews. This time past Cunningham in man coverage. via Gfycat A completion to Willie Snead right over Reid. Jackson is spectacular at putting the ball over the back of a defender. via Gfycat Jackson completed 12 of 15 attempts for 108 yards and 2 touchdowns on throws that traveled less than 10 yards through the air. The Texans were 27th in pass defense DVOA against short passes. He completed passes to nine different receivers. The weakness was exploited. —Gareon Conley had been pyritic since being traded to Houston. The when targeted numbers haven’t matched the performance. Passes were dropped. Throws over the receiver’s heads. He’s been beat in man coverage and fought back to play the ball at the catch point. This is a valuable skill. All great cornerbacks play the ball well. They have to. Everyone is going to get beat sometimes. It can’t be the staple of a cornerback’s coverage though. There’s only so much air in the safety vest. via Gfycat via Gfycat All of it reminded me so much of Shareece Wright last season. He’d get beat. The pass would float. He’d chase back and defend the pass. Crisis adverted. via Gfycat Then the double moves happened. Shoddy coverage became easy touchdowns. via Gfycat Conley had been doing the same thing and it finally caught up to him. As the outside cornerback he was matched up against Seth Roberts, who isn’t even a very good receiver, in man coverage. Roberts beats him easily with an inside release. Conley is chasing from the very beginning. He knows it. He slows down, gives up on the ball, and tries to play Roberts. He never finds the ball again, and can’t do what he has always done. via Gfycat via Gfycat It’s been a matter of time. Conley is the Texans’ best cornerback with Bradely Roby still hamstrung. With a nonexistent pass rush in front of the secondary, they can’t have their best cornerback getting beaten by a whatever receiver like this. —I didn’t think the Texans run defense was that bad. The numbers are brutal though. 36 carries for 263 yards and 1 touchdown. 22 middle caries for 179 yards, which comes out to 21 for 116 (5.5 yards a carry) without the garbage time rub your face in it Gus Edwards touchdown. And on the edges the Ravens had 3 carries for 15 yards. The front line was difficult to move, and when the runs were more interior and predicable, Scarlett, Cunningham, and McKinney were able to jump past some pulls and make occasional plays. Things were better before Jackson picked them apart and the game was close. via Gfycat The problems were everything else. Houston created first level stalemates, but they couldn’t beat these blocks and create backfield havoc. Being tied last with Kansas City for tackles at or behind the line of scrimmage keeps getting worse and worse. This is an outside zone keeper to the left with Gus Edwards acting as a lead blocker. No penetration. McKinney jumps the gap, but can’t bring Jackson down. via Gfycat Mercilus was an easy read defender. He was stuck in the swamp. Bogged down boots couldn’t jump from the quarterback to the back. Edwards runs right past him on this power run play. via Gfycat This time Jackson Vicks the Texans’ defense. Each split back tight end from the fullhouse formation runs into the open field to block. They leave both Charles Omenihu, who is struggling at reading run offenses and is soaked up and turned too often, and Mercilus unblocked. Jackson breaks out of Mercilus’s leap, runs past Omenihu, gets two Texans to run into each other, and breaks five tackles on one play. via Gfycat And here they run a simple power play right. Fullback, Patrick Ricard wears out Scarlett as a tight end blocker. Bradley Bozeman pulls and pops McKinney. Mark Ingram pops wide and reaches for a first down on first and ten. via Gfycat Houston’s run defense held up well without Watt last week, and it should as the season progresses. Watt wasn’t playing the run that aggressively. The Ravens have what will probably end up being an all-time great run offense. This was a rough game, but going forward, I’m not too worried about their ability to stop the run. —November is vanishing, quickly turning into December. All that orange and bronze will be black and gray and white. It’s the time to bundle up and imagine what it’s like to be cold here in Texas. I was finally going to watch The Revenant and see the man fight the grizzly bear. I don’t think I need to now. I’ve watched McKinney make 350 tackles or so. He bludgeons ball carriers and drives them backwards. Yards after contact doesn’t exist. During this span I’ve never seen him carried off into the woods and devoured before. Patrick Ricard did just that. The 300+ pounds of fullback took him to his den and fed him to his cubs. via Gfycat via Gfycat

  • Incompletions: Texans-Ravens
    by Matt Weston on November 18, 2019 at 6:13 pm

    Photo by Mark Goldman/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images With so much to write and talk about after every game, and not enough time for one person to write about it all, the Masthead joins together and writes about the horrors from Baltimore. Matt Weston: Look at the Raven. He has a cute little sweater on. It even has the Baltimore Ravens logo embedded on it. I’m sure he needs it. It looks so cold up there in Baltimore. Think about the Raven, and all those Ravens you’ve seen before. Scurrying around National Park dumpsters; waddling up to you and your campsite with a monocle over one eye, cawing, with confidence that exudes an intelligence higher than your own, drawing your attention away from his posse stealing your wallet, keys, and nitrate infused lunch meat; flying way up in the blue sky, just a dot in your eye; turning the desert into a high school cafeteria buzzing with conversation. Think about these Ravens. Don’t think about those. Jacoby Jones dropped punts, T.J. Yates frozen interceptions, Tom Savage strip sacks, Andre Johnson red shirt barely two feet in bounds Monday Night it doesn’t matter, a pick six of their own during Matt Schaub’s career ruining steak. J.J. Watt once ate a burrito. Don’t think about those Ravens. Those Ravens just beat the Houston Texans 41-7, and they did it by infecting all those wounds we had brought to attention during the last month when Houston beat Kansas City, Oakland, and Jacksonville. To paraphrase Mike Meltser paraphrasing Jeff Van Gundy, you don’t want to ignore the things in wins that you would make a point of correcting in losses. This is what happened. The same offense that had terrorized crappy linebackers like Reggie Ragland, Ben Niemann, Anthony Morrow, Tahir Whitehad, Myles Jack, and Austin Calitro, who can’t even cover Ryan Griffin, couldn’t do the same against an intelligent Baltimore front. They loaded the box. They ignored and ran under Darren Fells motions, and had the safety scrape over the top. The focal point of their offense was out of ink. They tried to use the same deep passing combinations they’ve run all season. These didn’t work. They ran a lot of isolation routes against a great coverage secondary. That didn’t work. Their run offense can’t create on its own, and instead needs to be set up by the offense itself. The rest of the offense couldn’t. They threw on every third down except for one. Carlos Hyde was tackled for a one year loss. Two third downs were converted. The rest had Deshaun Watson scrambling from big blitzes. Once he twisted his ankle this thing was finished. The wizard ran out of mana, and out of town portals with no fresh corpses around, he couldn’t portal back to town and purchase more. The secondary is passable one if a team has a pass rush. The Texans don’t have one. It doesn’t exist. J.J. Watt is out for the season, which now makes it three out of the last four. Jadeveon Clowny was traded for Jacob Martin, who was crop dusted by Lamar Jackson, Gareon Conley, who gave up a touchdown after getting beat in man coverage, like he has all season, and this time he unsuccessfully couldn’t chase back and play the ball, and BIG PLAY BARKEVIOUS MINGO, who almost chased down the fake field goal attempt before A.J. Moore stole his glory. Whitney Mercilus’s pass rushes are worthless without the interior of the pocket collapsing under the quarterback. Lamar Jackson had clean pockets to throw from, and from there he used his obscene ball placement to complete passes to every cross section of the field. Houston left the scented items out: deodorant, hand sanitizer, tooth paste, hot dog water, bean cans, energy bar wrappers. They sauntered to the bathroom and sat for decades. They hung out at the campground hosts RV. They walked to the store to buy ice. The Chiefs, Raiders, and Jaguars couldn’t overcome their disadvantages. The Ravens could. They pillaged, they shredded, they stole, and they flew away bellyful, screeching and yapping. The things that were ignored came back to horrify. JACKSON VICKS HOUSTON: via Gfycat Kenny94: 1. The Ravens were just the better team today. They’re the best team in the NFL, even better than the Saints at this point. In all three phases of the game, the Ravens outplayed the Texans. Bill O’Brien can learn lessons on how to design an offense to cater to his franchise quarterback’s strengths. 2. Not making excuses here, but the officiating today impacted the dynamic of the game. That blatant non-pass interference call really changed the game early. Had that penalty been called, the Texans get the ball on the 1 yard line and go up 7-0 in the first quarter. Here’s not to say they’d win, but I know for a fact that this game wouldn’t be a blowout. When will the NFL hold the referee’s accountable for their performances? They really impacted the game early. This is the second time the refs blatantly took a TD away from us, the first time in the Colts game earlier when they prematurely called Watson down for a sack when he threw a touchdown pass. Something has to be done about the officiating. 3. We thought that the Texans turned things around when they defeated Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs, but O’Brien still can’t prepare the Texans to play elite teams in the NFL. Granted he shouldn’t get the full blame for this game, everyone besides Deandre Hopkins played poorly. 4. I know it’s expected, but I don’t believe the Texans are as bad as the score indicated today. Today wasn’t their day at all. I do believe they can make a run in the playoffs. Well, we got spanked today. Can’t do anything about it except move on to Thursday’s game against the Colts. I still expect the Texans to win that game. No way they can poop the bed twice, right….right? HOUSTON TEXANS OUT OF CONTEXT: Texan_RevJ: This week was bad. Perhaps that is a bit of an oversimplification but the reality is that the Texans didn’t look anywhere near good enough to be on the same field as the Ravens. There are two things that I think contributed to this loss in significant ways: the refs and Bill O’Brien. First, the refs missing that pass interference call was a big deal. I understand that the Texans still only put on 7 points and gave up 40+ for the game but that doesn’t absolve the refs of guilt. The understanding when the pass intereference challenge rule was put into place was that it would eliminate bad missed calls exactly like the one on Hopkins. It has become increasingly clear that the NFL simply doesn’t care and is unwilling to hold any referee accountable. Refs will continue missing these calls and the reviews will continue to be a joke. The NFL claims to care about the integrity of the game but if this year is proving that they don’t care as long as people continue to watch the games. Hopkins speaking out against the refs after the game was an important step in the right direction. As one of the best wide receivers in the league, his voice will carry a little more weight. Sure, he’ll get fined but it’s well worth it. When your star players are speaking out on how bad things are getting, you have a problem. I doubt the NFL will do anything in-season but during the off-season we should see some changes being implemented. That being said, the refs weren’t nearly as big a problem as the Texans head coach. If you are a Bill O’Brien defender, it’s time to stop ignoring the reality of what he is as a head coach and recognize his obvious limitations. This team will never win a Super Bowl with Bill O’Brien. He simply lacks the ability to prepare teams for big games. Not only do the Texans look ill-prepared in these games, they look completely overwhelmed. I know that Bill O’Brien has complete control of this team, but I have to be willing to believe that if the Texans suffer anymore horrendous losses against elite competition, he is at least somewhat on the chopping block. For instance, say the Texans make the playoffs but get blown out in the first game. Is there anyone who is willing to guarantee that BOB is safe after that? I doubt it, but the Texans ownership has been oblivious in the past. I don’t want to overreact to just one game but I think this weeks loss really showed where the Texans stand in the pecking order of the AFC. They are a good team, maybe even a great one, but they aren’t elite. They won’t be able to hang come playoff time and we’ll spend another year watching the Super Bowl thinking about what might have been. SHOCKED? Laremy Tunsil on how shocked he was by the game: "Sounds like y'all are shocked more than us."pic.twitter.com/1DnbeqDKbx— Rivers McCown (@riversmccown) November 17, 2019 Diehard Chris: There was a lot of excitement after the Texans beat up on the Jaguars in London. I’m not entirely sure why, other than they did exactly what they should have done in that game. The disappointment about Baltimore is more about how far they have to go and HOW they lost the game, more so than the loss itself. To get blown out like that after the bye week is an embarrassment, period. That said, we should never really expect coaching and preparation to be a reason why the Texans win a game. They just don’t have one of the better coaches or staffs. It shows in their preparedness level, it shows in their scripted first-drive plays, it shows in their game-planning, it shows in their lack of adjustments, it shows in their pre-snap penalties on offense, etc. Let’s also not avoid the fact that Deshaun Watson just wasn’t good yesterday, and we can point to a lot of reasons, including the return of the offensive line being bad - but also a return to Watson holding the ball too long and just trying to make too much happen. The Texans need to bounce back in a hurry and they can get the good feelings rolling again if they can get their [KITTEN] together enough to win the next two games. For me, they needed to win two of three of at Baltimore, vs. Indy, vs. New England for me to have any belief that they can contend for anything more than another AFC South participation award. I GOT TO DO A BETTER JOB: Here's your need to do a better job compilation from the BOB presser. pic.twitter.com/HvPw7yIczF— Rivers McCown (@riversmccown) November 17, 2019 Capt. Ron: 1. The NFL does not have integrity with respect to officiating. Full. Stop. For that reason, my long-time passion for watching football is waning in the worst way. I was never a fan of professional wrestling due to the scripted and fake nature of it. I watch sports to see the best athletes in a given domain compete against each other. If the game feels rigged or leveraged by officiating then I’m out. This is not a good use of my time, nor is it entertaining. 2. Bill O’Brien is not capable of preparing the Texans for elite competition. Sure, he can win the division title against an average AFC South in any given season, but he has yet to take down the best teams in the league in any of his six years as the head coach of Houston. That’s consistently true during the regular season, and it is sadly evident in the post-season. He had TWO weeks to prepare for this game, and that debacle is what he delivered? This is not a good use of my time, nor is it entertaining. 3. Many have raised concern about just how complicated O’Brien’s offensive scheme is through the years, and how long it takes to learn and execute, but this game shows just how much that seems to affect execution by the players: lining up incorrectly (even after taking a timeout after lining up incorrectly), frequently running the wrong routes, confusion across the offensive line regarding the protection on a given play, and so on. He is not a good offensive coordinator: designing plays, calling plays, overall game management, etc. Until Cal figures this out, the Texans will continue to be average to slightly above average regardless of any talent on the roster. Three key points is enough. I have better things to do with my time. If the NFL doesn’t care enough about officiating, and Cal McNair doesn’t care enough about who’s at the controls of this franchise, then why should I care? The NFL product sucks and the Texans’ product sucks. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: via Gfycat bigfatdrunk: In my opinion, only two games in NFL history were lost because of the officiating: 1979 AFC Championship Game where Mike Renfro’s feet are still in, and the 2018 NFC Championship Game where yeesh. That’s it. The Texans did not lose yesterday because of the refs. Instead, Sunday was yet another reminder that Bill O’Brien is a middling head coach and horrible offensive coordinator. The contrast between BOB’s game plan for Deshaun Watson and John Harbaugh’s for Lamar Jackson was striking, and not in a good way. The simple fact is that the Houston Texans have been extraordinarily lucky this year. Leonard Fournette was stopped by an inch. Instead of playing Nick Foles twice and Cam Newton once, the Texans faced backups. We played the Chiefs with a dinged up and Patrick Mahomes and a missing Chris Jones. Throw in the one score games, and the Texans could as easily be 3-7 as they are 6-4. Without Deshaun Watson, this team would be a nightmare. For me, however, the worst part about yesterday’s game is that it took Watson, at least for now, out of the MVP conversation. The sad fact is that there is only one coach in the NFL capable of stopping Watson, and it’s Bill O’Brien.

  • Hair of the Dog - Texans/Ravens
    by UprootedTexan on November 18, 2019 at 3:00 pm

    Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images The BRB gang get together to discuss most of Sunday’s game against the Ravens. The rest we’re gonna have to get creative about. So...how are y’all doing today? Now that you’ve had about, um...carry the four...about 18 hours to digest whatever that was we saw Sunday, how’s things? Do you have a lot going on in your world? I bet you do. Like um...familial obligations and um...the new season of Man In The High Castle started Friday so I’m sure some of you are into that (please, no spoilers if you’ve already binged it all). Oh! How about dental hygiene, I know that someone out there has to be dealing with some kind of flossing emergency. If it’s not painfully clear by now, I’m doing everything I can to avoid bringing up the game itself. It’s bad enough to watch it, but now I have to transcribe the chat and relive it. It’s also very late here as I have tried to distract myself to avoid confronting this again. Laundry, farming video games, photoshop projects, I’ve used them all but that doesn’t change the fact that here we are and there needs to be a recap of the game. Anyway, there’s no point in putting it off any longer. Let’s get to the dog so we can get it in the rearview mirror and look ahead to the...the, uh...Colts on Thursday night. [Kitten]. As always, in finest Hair of the Dog tradition, all swear words have been replaced with [kitten] to make the thread safe to read at work. The thread won’t get you in trouble at work, but it won’t do you any favors mentally. Enjoy! As for me, I’m going to watch some episodes of Battlebots I have on DVR in the hope that watching stuff blow up and metal flying around will make me feel better. Pregame Discussion Diehard Chris I’m excited about this game for once. Weston Sadly, I swear the gif doesn’t have nudity UT Um...thanks? They have Texans/Ravens on the big screen today and I could not be more miserable to hear Dan Fouts’ voice. FIRST QUARTER UT Looks like we’re getting the ball first. Run up the middle to start. Weston I don’t mind Fouts. He makes me want to pour whiskey into my oatmeal UT Going with a bunch of short passes in the middle it would seem. Overall he’s not terrible but he sure seems to have it in for the Texans. (FUMBLE RECOVERED BY BALTIMORE) Matt Burnham What the [kitten] was that UT It’s only wizardry if you manage to get rid of the ball AND NOT LIKE THAT DESHAUN! Weston [Kitten] that was a great play by Matthew Judon. He’s the only guy they got. Capt Ron No magic, no hat, no rabbit, and no football. That was terrible by Watson. UT Johnson almost palmed an interception right there. Matt Burnham Here we go again... Weston Boykin v. Johnson is a fun matchup. It’s hard to run deep posts against off man coverage. Capt Ron While I’m listing the things Houston is missing, “no pass rush” as well. Shocker! Weston 3rd & 7, sure bring only three UT We only NEED three pass rushers. Capt Ron This is one of those games where Clowney could have helped but whatever. Golf clap for GM O’Brien on that misery. UT They almost got to him that time. In fact I’m surprised they didn’t throw the flag. (RAVENS FIELD GOAL IS NO GOOD) Matt Burnham Hahahaha sweet UT BOOOOOOOOINOINOINOINOINOINOINOINOINOINOING Weston Look they brought a blitz, and it kind of worked! DONK Matt Burnham Let’s just pretend none of that stuff ever happened and the game actually starts now UT Safety Mike Adams out with concussion already. Capt Ron As I chew down this spicy pickle in my Bloody Mary, I concur. Clean slate, let’s go! UT Wait, we have a...good third down conversion rate? Matt Burnham Hopkins already has 4 first down catches lol UT Okay, just Watson to Hopkins for medium yardage all day today. Capt Ron Hopkins is lit today. Putting in a clinic for moving the chains. Weston He’s [kitten]ing Jamison Crowder now and I kind of hate it, but every catch is a first down UT The downs justify the means. Matt Burnham Bill O’Brien’s QB-WR combo has beautiful rhythm and they run it three times in a row UT Why. The [kitten]. Would. You. Run. On. That. Play? Capt Ron Ravens built a wall, and O’Brien stubbornly paid for it. What an idiot OC he is! Weston Matthew Judon has been the best player on the field when the Texans have the ball UT That is the most obvious [Durga][kitten] PI I’ve seen all season. Capt Ron That’s pass interference you blind [KITTENS] wearing stripes! Weston come the [kitten] on bro UT Okay BOB, I usually don’t advocate for this, but let your freak flag fly on the field! Weston lol there’s no way they overturn this. They never do. Matt Burnham Even if it gets correctly overturned I still can’t get over the fact that Bill chose to run it three times in a row. Capt Ron Not just that, but when they changed personnel on 3rd down and sent in five massive humans that could serve as honorary Hutts, you might not want to hammer up the middle. Just saying. (CALL STANDS) UT Go [kitten] yourselves forever, refs. Capt Ron [Kitten] NFL refs. This is garbage. Weston You have to slice the receiver open and eat his heart for these calls to be overturned. [Kitten] Lamar Jackson just crop dusted Jacob Martin UT Look, refs, if you’re not going to call a stupidly obvious pass interference call on replay, just say so. That way when y’all miss a pass interference call that would’ve been painfully obviously to a cluster of blind hedgehogs in a bag in outer space, we’ll understand that you can’t be bothered to get it right. Just be honest about your incompetence is all I’m really asking for here. (RAVENS TURNOVER ON DOWNS AFTER FAKE FIELD GOAL ATTEMPT) Matt Burnham What the [kitten] lmao Vega This game is stupid UT That’s what you get for being cute! Matt Burnham Alright, once again, let’s pretend like nothing ever happened and the game actually starts NOW Diehard Chris Buahahaha I knew that was gonna be a fake Matt Burnham Third time is the charm Diehard Chris But I thought they’d get it Kenneth L. Just woke up. What did I miss Diehard Chris Good jorb specials good jorb UT A lot of bumble[kitten]ing on all sides. Weston I forgot A.J. Moore is a thing that exists Matt Burnham Offense, defense, coaches, coordinators, refs. Everyone at least bumble[kitten]ed a little bit. A complete, symmetric bumble[kitten] if you will. UT Deshaun fumbled after some wizardry. Ravens doinked a field goal on the ensuing play. The refs missed the most blindingly obvious pass interference call of the season and the Ravens just faked a field goal and turned it over on downs anyway. Luke How’s things looking fellas? UT ::takes page from Weston’s book:: NOT NOW LUKE. Kenneth L. Ugly sack. Don’t know who’s fault that is Weston Luke and I are real life friends now so I can’t talk to him like that anymore Vega Did Watson lose a tooth on that one? Weston BIG PLAY BARKEVIOUS MINGO CHASED DOWN THE FAKE FG Capt Ron I saw something white go flying Kenneth L. Fun UT And Mingo was his name-o Kenneth L. Fun GUM I HATE AUTOCORRECT UT He can have one of mine Vega, Weston I actually hope he lost his tooth there. That would be bad[kitten]ing[kitten]. UT Just not one of the front teeth because that’ll look weird on all his future HEB promo stuff. Diehard Chris Moore DEFINITELY stole Mingo’s glory on that fake FG. UT We’re down to one time out. I can’t blame BOB too much for the first one but what the hell on that second one. Vega I feel like the Texans have 2-3 illegal formation penalties per game Matt Burnham How do you take a timeout and still come out with that Capt Ron Stop designing plays so complicated that the players can’t even line up correctly, BoB! Weston ”Moore DEFINITELY stole Mingo’s glory on that fake FG.” You [kitten]! Vega This game continues to be stupid SECOND QUARTER Weston This run-run-pass stuff sucks. It’s allowing BAL to heavy blitz and get the ball out quickly. They’re allowing Baltimore to dictate their offense so far. UT For a game that touted both these amazing quarterbacks, I’m stunned it’s scoreless going into the second. [Kitten], I’m stunned it’s not 6-0. Ain’t nobody come to see you throw flags, ref. Weston Fun Fact: On the Texans last two possessions they ran on first and second down and then turned the ball back over to Baltimore. Matt Burnham This is awful Vega I think the Referee’s Union changed the compensation package to be on a “per flag thrown”. UT You and I are going to have to have a talk about what fun is, Weston. Vega Unless it’s obvious PI, of course UT I suspect they get paid double if they get someone to throw a flag to challenge PIs. ”No Texan within five yards of [PLAYER NAME HERE].” Grape job, y’all. This drive is not going to end well for us. Weston [Durga] their pass rush is so bad. Jackson is just going to quick pass them to death. Crennel needs to start bringing 6+ UT Preferably carrying baseball bats. Weston Sure, quarterback power, Jackson trips, still gets 12 or so (TOUCHDOWN RAVENS. BALTIMORE LEADS 7-0) Matt Burnham It’s gonna be a long one guys Weston Gareon Conley couldn’t leap up and knock that one away after getting beat in man coverage UT Relatedly: Edgar Allen Poe is overrated and Baltimore’s crab cakes suck. Weston He’s been Shareece Wrighting his entire time in Houston so far. It finally got him. The Cask Of Amontillado slaps though UT (SPOILER ALERT IF YOU’VE NEVER READ IT): Slowly burying a guy alive behind a wall isn’t all that scary. Kenneth L. Coutee is playing today UT Hey, lookie there, a pass on first down. Matt Burnham This sucks so bad Weston Dude that [kitten] is 20th century scary. I just love the dialogue and the simplicity of the story. Matt Burnham This game sucks Couldn’t have come off a bye week any worse Kenneth L. That sack is a coverage sack that’s on Coutee for running the wrong route and Watson UT That’s a Third And I Give Up. Kenneth L. We look stale Weston Wow Coutee and Hopkins running the same route there. Yeah, but you have no idea what the playcall is Kenneth. No clue if it’s Coutee or Hopkins. Kenneth L. I’m guessing it’s Coutee Bc of history A little confirmation bias never hurts Capt Ron I’m about to turn this [kitten] show off. Between the disgusting officiating, the overly-complex ineffective offensive plays—man I hate O’Brien as an OC—and Watson trying too hard and getting killed, this is seriously bad football. UT I’m with Kenneth, Coutee’s been in the dog house and barely seen playing time, it would be more likely to be his mistake than Nuk’s. Weston Sure, sure, sure. I just don’t know who’s that’s on. Kenneth L. I want Michael Thomas. I wonder what his trade value is Matt Burnham Can’t develop any pressure and their pass defense is awful at best UT Mrs. UT is not amused by your trade idea Kenneth. Weston DeAndre Hopkins is pretty much Michael Thomas now Slot WR, slant runner, first down converter UT Is he coated in friggin’ lard or something? Correct me if I’m mistaken, but wasn’t that run by the Ravens the exact same play that BOB started the game off with? Capt Ron The Texans defense has a wobble in that axle and the wheels may come off soon. Especially if ole’ Billy Boy O’Brien can’t get his offense working to give them a breather. Matt Burnham A 2nd and 17 touchdown pass haha (TOUCHDOWN RAVENS. BALTIMORE LEADS 14-0) Weston oooo that throw has me sweating Does Houston have a problem? [Ed. Note: You’re fired Matt.] UT If I ever become president, my first act will be to sign an executive order making “Houston You Have A Problem” signs illegal and punishable by death. Like really painful death too. Like boiling in oil or some [kitten]. Matt Burnham They’ve always had a problem Kenneth L. All of a sudden it’s 14-0 UT Honestly it should be 20-0. Capt Ron There goes a wheel. Weston 14 points isn’t that bad in the first half from the defense. It’s this ball control offensive style that’s catching up to them. The Ravens have linebackers. Kansas City, Oakland, and Jacksonville don’t. Kenneth L. Wait we’ve been sacked 4 times? UT Yeah, mostly look like coverage sacks or badly blown assignments. Weston Brandon Willliams interior rushes, and open lanes after a few seconds of pass protection. Capt Ron Watson sacked himself at least 3 times. Coutee helped on one by running the wrong route again. I’m sure that’s the last we have seen of Coutee as a Texan. Matt Burnham Yup Coutee is gone UT Coutee better send that ref a lovely fruit basket for bailing him out there. One of the really good one with mangoes and stuff. Capt Ron So ripping a WR’s arm away before the ball arrives is not pass interference? Noted. Weston I got an edible arrangement giftcard from 2011 he can use Houston is finally keeping a back into protect after all the delayed spy blitzes UT I’ll give a pass on that one since Hopkins had a chance to grab the ball, Peters just knocked it away from him at the last second. Capt Ron Still, grabbing his arm isn’t PI?!! WTF has this league devolved into with respect to the actual written rules? Weston The ball is in the air, it isn’t egregious, they’re watching the game in real time, it looks a lot worse in slow motion. UT Glad to see Kenny Stills making an appearance finally. (DESHAUN WATSON GETS INJURED) UT Nonononononononononononononononononono That’s an ankle. Weston [KITTEN] with 7 nation army chanting in the background to unleash the gates of [kitten] Kenneth L. Ugh That’s another sack BFD What happened to Watson? UT It looked like he might’ve turned an ankle or something. Kenneth L. SPIKE THE [KITTEN] BALL Matt Burnham How has this [kitten]ing bum not been cut Capt Ron Big guy sacked him and rolled his body over Watson’s ankle (TEXANS FIELD GOAL IS NO GOOD. HAMSTERDAM LEADS 14-0) Matt Burnham This dude is so [kitten]ing awful it’s unreal Diehard Chris Lololol garbage [kitten] kicker as he’s always been I hate football UT We need to talk about Ka’imi Fairbairn. Kenneth L. Wait ignore me BFD How bad does it look for Watson? Kenneth L. Fire fairbairn Booioo I’m upset HALFTIME REACTIONS Capt Ron Toss Coutee and Fairbairn into the [kitten] ship channel and move on. Kenneth L. Cancel the season Fire the GM UT We can’t even rely on the patented All Field Goal Offense we’ve come to know and love. Kenneth L. Trade away all first and second round picks UT Um... About that BFD Houston needed to come out aggressively and score early and often. We aren’t playing Jacksonville, FKS. Weston THERE HE IS UT Also, if Deshaun Watson is hurt, I’m declaring a fatwa against that Ravens defender. Kenneth L. We should trade for an elite left tackle that we don’t know if we can resign next year Capt Ron Halftime thoughts? 1. Harbaugh > O’Brien, especially at offensive play design, play calling and personnel management. 2. The Texans needed Clowney after all. 3. NFL refs are actually worse than high school refs, because even with replay to get it right they refuse to do so. Kenneth L. I’ve been watching too much Peaky Blinders. We should pay off the refs UT Finally, someone’s making sense here! Matt Burnham John Christian Ka’iminoeauloameka’ikeokekumupa’a “Ka’imi” Fairbairn is his real name. THIRD QUARTER UT I would pay 20 bucks to hear Dan Fouts try to say his full name. Capt Ron Houston had two weeks to prepare and this is the best they can do? Now can we fire O’Brien? UT Wasn’t the big idea that we were going to keep the ball out of Jackson’s hands this game? Yet we’re losing the TOP battle. That seems counterproductive to the whole ball control theory. Matt Burnham This defense is so frustratingly undisciplined UT And of course there’s a flag down. Matt Burnham Like what the [kitten] why is that necessary Capt Ron Oh NOW you call PI? UT There was no way on this Earth or any other Earth that exists that he was going to catch that ball. We’re gonna get dumptrucked aren’t we? BFD I cannot wait for people to blame the refs for this loss. UT If you look at Rivers’ twitter feed, that’s already happening. Weston Jackson’s ball placement is obscene Matt Burnham He went untouched hahahahahaha (TOUCHDOWN RAVENS. BALTIMORE LEADS 21-0) UT I could be doing something productive right now, like playing Stardew Valley. Capt Ron Ingram unaccounted for and scores a Touchdown! Time for RAC to retire. Diehard Chris I did think it was strange that Texans fans were so amped up after slapping the Jags around. Show me something against any good team. So far, just the Chiefs. UT And even that was against a Mahomes who was pretty clearly not all right. BFD And no Chris Jones. UT Per Barshop: Lamar Jackson has 10 straight completions. Grape job, defense. Weston RAC has been badass this season. This isn’t on him. This team has zero pass rush without Watt, and they have a secondary that could be good if they still had a top ten pass rush. Oh great cue the 2011 footage. BFD Down 21-0. Carlos Hyde up the middle. Gotta blame the refs. Weston Bro we shouldn’t even be on air right now Matt Burnham Watson is gonna die UT They literally let two rushers just blow right past the line. Weston He’s noticeably slower now. UT And he’s not even trying to wizard them. This is not good. Capt Ron Dear Roger Goodell, your product is a steaming pile of [kitten]! Dear Bill O’Brien, your product is even worse. Weston Watson is out of mana TexanRevJ Just caught up. This is going to get much worse isn’t it? Don’t seem to have any answer for the pass rush Matt Burnham “This one is on me” “We have to be better than that” “We can’t afford to make these mistakes” Did I miss one? UT Fine, shoot your prisoner. Weston The problem hasn’t even been the pass rush. It’s been the playcalling that put them into third and long which opens the door for the Ravens’ third down blitzes. UT Lonnie Johnson is hurt. Weston Jackson just Vick’ed em TexanRevJ Dagger through the heart Matt Burnham You could also change the V to a D and it would still be true. Capt Ron Sadly, the MVP race just ended. UT If that had gone for a touchdown, I would have to watch that run for the rest of my natural life. Not quite, Russell Wilson is still in the hunt. But for Deshaun, I’d say the MVP chase is pretty much over. Matt Burnham In my non-bias opinion I don’t think he’s been in it for a few weeks anyway. Barring drastic change of events it was always gonna be Russ and Lamar Team isn’t good enough and the other two have been more “captivating” UT And that looks like Justin Reid who’s hurt. Capt Ron Have the QBs switch teams today. Scoreboard might look exactly the same. O’Brien is THAT bad at play design and play calling. UT We are so [kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitten]ed... TexanRevJ Reid’s shoulder might fall off before the end of the season (FIELD GOAL RAVENS. BALTIMORE LEADS 24-0) Weston I mean if Houston won this game and was set up for a bye week in the playoffs Watson would be in that top three. Wilson still has my vote, and I have vote of course. UT At this point, I’m just hoping it’s not a shutout. Like [kitten], Big Matt, if you had a vote, you’d be voting for, like, Derwin James or something like that. Weston Hahahaha. He’s not in my heart shaped box. UT Then who would you vote for, leaving aside the obvious candidates. What obscure player in your heart shaped box would you vote for MVP? (RAVENS INTERCEPTION) UT Watson is clearly not right. Capt Ron “Aight, I’m out” Weston It would be Wilson. He’s made the best throws I’ve seen this season and they still haven’t pass protected all that well, and SEA’s defense has been awful until Jaraan Reed got back and started going. That being said, I’d put Fred Warner on my All-Pro team UT I said not the obvious candidates. (FIELD GOAL RAVENS. BALTIMORE LEADS 27-0) Weston Dalvin Cook then. The pass offense relies on their screen game, he’s leading the league in yards from scrimmage, is top 5 in broken tackles, and the entire offense is based around him. UT That’s a fair one. I could get behind that. Reid’s out with a shoulder injury per Barshop. You can’t hurt me anymore, Texans offense. I’ve lost all feeling. BFD They should pull Watson. Weston His shoulder has been mangled since that JAX game Naw BFD, O’Brien has to make this game look closer than it actually was via Miami or Atlanta 2015. UT ::pulls cord on BOB word box:: ”We don’t pull players, we fight until the clock is all zeros, no matter what the cost.” ::pulls cord again:: ”The cow says “it starts with mooooooooo” Sorry, still fine tuning it. Have we been this sloppy on penalties all season or is it only in the last few weeks? I’m having trouble remembering. FOURTH QUARTER UT I’ve lost the ability to notice time. Weston Cool they’re running the plays they should have run in the first half now that they’re down 27-0 (TURNOVER ON DOWNS. RAVENS BALL.) Matt Burnham I’ve turned off the game and decided to play Madden [Ed. Note: For pretty obvious reasons the conversation kind of lulled here, so most of the fourth quarter has been completed in a completely different style at great expense and at the last minute.] Our overall reaction.UT I know we’re going to score a touchdown because at some point this will turn into garbage time and that’s when we [kitten]ing SHINE! (TOUCHDOWN RAVENS. BALTIMORE LEADS 34-0.) Capt Ron Today Lamar Jackson was the Mandalorian, and the Texans were the stinky Jawas getting tossed into the mud. UT Just think, if they had scored those two field goals, the Ravens would be up 40-0 now. Kenneth L. I’m Turing the game off Weston lmfao UT I think they’re cutting away from the Texans game. All I can say is, thank you CBS. CBS to Texans: Go home, you’re drunk. Does anyone else still have the game on, those of you who haven’t done the wise thing and started doing anything else, that is? Diehard Chris I just don’t understand how they are getting beaten so badly after beating ........ the Jaguars. Vega Why is Watson still in the game? Weston Remember Cecil Shorts and Arian Foster died in game situations just like this BFD BOB does not care. He just wants the team to make it close, which ain’t gonna happen. UT If the Texans score (waits for laughs to die down) let me know. BFD Ummmm.... Vega Hyde just scored a TD UT LOLOLOLOLOLOL BFD OK, we scored. Pull Watson. Don’t Tua’d him. (TEXANS TOUCHDOWN. CARLOS HYDE WITH A 41 YARD RUN. BALTIMORE LEADS 34-7) UT HOT [KITTEN] IT WON’T BE A SHUTOUT!!! BFD #Ravens pull Lamar Jackson before the #Texans pull Deshaun Watson. One team is also up 34 to 7 on the other team. This tells me: one team has a good, aware head coach while the other team’s coach is Bill O’Brien. (TOUCHDOWN RAVENS. BALTIMORE LEADS 41-7) UT They’re not even trying and they’re dunking on our defense. They finally pulled Watson. Matt Burnham I just don’t wanna listen to the media for a whole week about how Lamar Jackson is better than Watson who is overrated BFD There’s only one coach in the league capable of stopping Watson: Bill O’Brien. Capt Ron I would live to see what Watson could do with Shanahan, Reid or Harbaugh as his coach. His talent is waisting away in Houston with Billy Boy. BFD Em-[kitten]-barrassing. (TEXANS LOSE 41-7) POST GAME REACTIONS UT The only thing that keeps the Texans from looking like absolute garbage is Deshaun Watson. Weston The Ravens were the better football team today. I got to do a better job. It’s all on me. Capt Ron Just post a picture of the Sarlac Pit with Texans players getting sucked in. In the next frame, the camera pulls back and it’s BOB’s chin. In the foreground, Cal McNair is drinking scotch on Jabba’s yacht. Meanwhile Lamar Jackson is decked out as a Mandalorian with Ravens colored armor and flying away with his rocket pack. GAME BALLS Got something you want to contribute to the conversation? Well drop us a line in the comments.

 

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